Now that I'm in the peri-menopausal stage and dealing with vaginal dryness (yes--it's one of the symptoms), I can't help but reflect back on the various stages of my sex life. You know, the times when it was so thrilling--you just couldn't get enough! These days my gynecologist is telling me over time I may lose my desire all together.
Oh Lord! I hope that doesn't happen to me because I'd hate to think I'd wasted the best years of my sex life on my ex!
If you're a baby boomer, take a minute and see how many of these "sex acts" you can identify with:
The 1st kind of sex is called SMURF SEX. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: KITCHEN SEX. This is when you have been
with your partner for a short time and you are so ***** you will have
sex anywhere, even
in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: BEDROOM SEX: This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: HALLWAY SEX: This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you!"
The 5th kind of sex is called: RELIGIOUS SEX: which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon And Nun at night!
The 6th kind is called COURTROOM SEX: This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone
The 7th kind of sex: is called: SOCIAL SECURITY SEX. You get a little each month…but not enough to live on.
The 8th kind of sex is: VEGETERIAN SEX: is when it’s been so long that even a cucumber looks good
Lastly, there’s GAS STATION SEX: self service sex
IS THERE LIFE AFTER SEX?
- The veteran journalist is the author of the recently published book, Whatever! A Baby Boomers Journey Into Middle Age. Ms. Mahone is also an accomplished motivational speaker and draws from her book to speak on topics including: middle age dating, working for younger bosses pursuing your dreams, menopause and sex after 40.
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